December is Here!!

When I think of December, I think of colder air, Christmas music, bright lights, cozy sweaters, sugar cookie and pine scented candles burning, family, comfort foods, Christmas, and tradition. I would like to say as I type this, my Cranberry Frosted candle is burning and a Hallmark Christmas movie is playing in the background but instead, I’m sitting passenger side in Huck’s car as rain steadily falls on our way back to Radford. When I get back to what I imagine will be a freezing apartment, because I turned off the heat before I left, I have to begin laundry, figure out what’s for dinner, do some school work and meet my group for a very long meeting. I will be studying and finishing up final projects over the next week, along with most other college students. There are so many things I want to do before finishing the semester that are competing with the things I have to do. This is will be the week the organization and time management tips from The Creative at Heart mini session will go into full effect.

I have been reading all my favorite creative’s blog posts and Instagram captions, along with having conversations with them about how they are preparing to take most of December off and cramming all their last minute work into the next week or so. I’m trying to have the same work ethic as them, by ensuring I leave a least a few hours of each day to enjoy the new month. This will happen, whether it be in the morning watching the Today Show with Rachel and sipping my coffee, watching a Christmas Movie with Huck in the middle of the week after dinner, taking an extra-long lunch break, or binge watching Desperate Housewives with Rachel before bed, drinking some eggnog.

I am looking forward to spending the rest of December and beginning of January at home with family and friends. I’m hoping to accomplish some big tasks, that will also be fun, relaxing, spend time with my favorite little kids and take in all that December has to offer. To all my creative friends, small business owners and college friends, push through the final weeks and enjoy the rest of the Christmas season!

Kat's Team!!

I want to start by first thanking everyone who has supported me along the way. Everyone who encouraged me, starting with the very first blog post, the very first wedding with the first business I worked for and those who encouraged me and gave me advice. When I was beaten down because of a terrible interview and told I wasn’t cut out for this, there were a few of you who told me they were wrong and I could do anything I wanted to do, thank you for that. When I got negative feedback from my very first blog post and most of you told me not to quit and just keep going, thank you, I have now written 19, this one will make 20. The encouragement I’ve gotten from friends, family and even people I haven’t talked to in years has been so overwhelming.

 I’ve been striving for this dream for over 3 years. The first week of college I started emailing wedding planners in the New River Valley and Richmond area asking for advice and if they needed any extra help, for no charge! I found one company and helped them a few times, I learned a lot, mostly what I wouldn’t do. I had a terrible interview with a woman who was a planner, by the time I got home I was in tears questioning if wedding planning was the path I should be on. My parents, Huck and his parents told me otherwise and to keep trying. There was so much rejection and I was giving up hope on my dream, that was until I met Katelyn Alsop for coffee. She and I have been friends ever since she and Michael came to the church, I’ve been so blessed to have such amazing friends who can inspire, encourage, laugh with and help. Katelyn gave me Kat’s information and from the first email I got in response to Kat, I knew I was going to love learning from her.

Kat was welcoming to me from start. I emailed her to ask her for some advice and what she recommended me to do since I was still in school and had no idea where to start. Not only did she answer my questions but she also told me I could shadow her at a wedding, I was elated. This was two years ago. Since then I have assisted Kat with numerous weddings, a styled shoot, and a conference, but most importantly I have learned so much from her. I’ve learned how to focus on detail, think on my feet, get creative, love deeply, be inspired and so much more. I am beyond grateful for Kat’s friendship and being able to learn from one of the best. Being a part of Kat’s team is something I have wanted but never thought would happen. When I got the phone call from her asking if I would want to be a part of DSE, I was speechless. All I could say was yes over and over, everything was a blur after I got off the phone. I immediately called my parents to tell them and was so happy!!! Since then, I’ve worked a couple weddings with her and the most recent one I was all by myself as soon as the ceremony began!!!

I was so nervous for this but I knew that if Kat trusted me enough to leave it all in my hands I could do it. I was surprised, but it went so well!! I only had to call Kat once and afterward we met back at her house and talked about both of our weddings. It was a long weekend, I was exhausted, drove more than I would have wanted but it was one of the best weekends I’ve ever had. I can’t wait for those weekends to continue and become the new normal.

So thank you, to everyone who helped me, encouraged me, inspired me and let me ramble on about all things weddings and pretty!

Hello Friends!!

Who can confidently say they have this whole “balancing life” thing figured out? My guess is that most of you can’t say you’ve got this. I know I don’t, but I’m working on it!! All our lives we’ve been told it’s “all about balance”. Whether that’s balancing the amount of fruit and veggies compared to carbs and sugar, our work and social life, friends and family, really everything. For me, this past week was a balancing act, one step forward, one step back…thankfully not two steps back!!

I would like to say this week started on Saturday, and yes I do choose when my week starts. Saturday I did my first day-of coordination under Kat’s business, Dear Sweetheart Events! Before you get excited to read all about it, you’ll have to wait, that will be for another day J. Saturday afternoon, I chose last minute to also help Kat the next day to set up for another wedding, this meant getting home later, less sleep and cramming the rest of my Sunday into less hours. It was truly a fantastic weekend, it started off so well! While I was gone, I got an email that my brand new mug, from Chalkfulloflove had been delivered! Monday morning, I went down to my mailbox to discover it wasn’t in my box and I had the wrong key to a parcel box, fast-forward to having the right key and bringing the package up to my room, excitedly opening it and the mug being in 12 different pieces. I was crushed, so upset, but I wasn’t going to let that ruin my day. The owner, is the sweetest and sending me a brand new one! The rest of Monday went just fine and it ended with my roomie and I binge watching our favorite show. Wednesday morning, I woke up to an email from UPS that my 2017 Kate Spade Planner had been delivered to my door!! I was so excited until I realized I’m a light sleeper and no one had knocked on the door. I had to leave for a meeting so I brought the mail key with me to check when I got back. The package wasn’t in my box so naturally I called UPS. After 30 minutes on the phone, I was extremely disappointed with their lack of help and rude customer service, but I didn’t give up. I wrote a note to put on the mailbox and asked all of my neighbors, no one had received my package. My day was beginning to become ruined, until 2 of my best friends came to Radford for dinner and 6 hours of catching up. Thank goodness a few of my friends only go to school 25 minutes away from me!!

We literally spent hours looking at pictures from the past 4 years, catching up on the last 2 weeks, and sharing our future ambitions and dreams! I’m so thankful Amanda and Kate saved the day! Thursday followed with more UPS calling. I wrote them an email, called their headquarters and even tracked down the UPS driver. The driver on Thursday hadn’t delivered to Radford all week, and the driver who did, they couldn’t get in touch with and was just a fill in. I lost hope. My package is currently under investigation and a claim was filed to Kate Spade. I stopped and let UPS be in control, and God be in control of my attitude. Thursday I helped celebrate a friend’s birthday and then my weekend began.

Huck and I decided to skip the dressing up and going out for Halloween this year and I must say I have no regrets. It was a perfect weekend filled with movies, Ghost Adventures, food, football and one step back. I burned my arm, badly, on the pan our buffalo chicken dip was being baked it. OUCH! After that, I was gaining more steps forward, I visited a vineyard with a dear friend and it was to die for (anyone in the Radford/Blacksburg/Christiansburg area needs to check out Whitebarrel Winery)!! The same day, I booked my first bride for MY business!!! Later that day, I booked my first bride under Dear Sweetheart Events!!

So I know it may seem like I just shared all about my week, step by step, but my main point is that things will always get better. Don’t let the little things seem like huge things and let them ruin your day or your week! There will always be something that happens to make it better. For me, the really good ways to end a day are binge watching a show with my roommate and friend, Rachel with her little kitten playing fetch with us in the living room (yes he does play fetch and you can see him in action on his IG: westonthekitty), or watching some on ID or Travel Channel with Huck. I can do both of those on my own, but doing them with people I love makes it so much better! I could have let my broken mug, missing Kate Spade Planner, burn or the stress of the week ruin my week, but I didn’t and you don’t have to either.

I would love to see a community of building each other up and sharing our hard moments so we can jump over those and into embracing the good ones! I just entered into a community of business women supporting each other and couldn’t be more excited. Communities are everything, whether it’s your best friends who know every piece of you, your classmates sharing the same school work struggles or your family who will be there no matter what, cling onto them. It’s all about balance friends, eat a salad for lunch and huge bowl of ice cream for dinner, work your butt off one weekend and veg out the next drinking all the wine and watching all the football you can.

Let’s do this together!!

     

Hope

Hope has been a really big thing recently. I feel like it’s everywhere. Whether it’s Instagram, Facebook, blogs, friends, communities or just me in general. Everyone, every day is hoping for something. I’m taking a philosophy class right now and something we’ve talked about is that you aren’t supposed to hope because hope is empty. According to philosophy, we aren’t supposed to hope because that means we are thinking in the future which is also bad because we then fear death…I know, I don’t get it either. I’ve never really understood philosophy or agreed with it, which is because it contradicts Christianity. So, I disagree, hope is everything BUT empty.

This past week, we focused on the topic of hope in my class and a mentor to me started a series within her series. I’m not sure if that is the correct way to refer to it but she has been doing something called a Hope Series for a few years. I’ve been babysitting for her children for 4 years and while doing so, I’ve learned a lot from her and what her series is about. They are heart wrenching, beautiful, happy, sad, hard to read and exciting to read, to me this is hope. She just started, what I referred to as a series within a series. Every day there are parts of stories posted to a Facebook page called Connor’s Hero’s Foundation about children who have had, are currently going through or unfortunately didn’t beat their battle with cancer or another life altering disease. So far, the stories have been posted in parts of 4. I didn’t understand this at first, or really like it because I wanted to read the whole story and know the outcome for the family. Today, I read the first part of a story that could have ended two ways; she could kick cancers butt and be free of the awful disease or she could fight with every ounce of her being and die a fighter. I read the final part of that story later in the afternoon, 4/4 was the start, by the end I had tears running down my face. I don’t know the real reason that the stories of these children and their families are posted in parts but for me it’s because I need to read it slowly and see just how real this is. Kristin, of Kristin Seward Photography (Lens of Hope) has always had a beautiful way of writing these stories and photographing the touching moments. No matter how sad or heartbreaking the story is she gives a sense of hope and shows the hope that was always there. Without hope, children, adults, family and friends who get the news that no one wants to hear, has nothing to live for and no fight in them. That’s why I choose hope.

If cancer hasn’t touched your life personally, I couldn’t be more happy for you. If we aren’t currently hoping for a good diagnosis, we are hoping for something else. Couples hoping to expand their family, a friend or spouse hoping for a raise or job acceptance, students hoping for a good grade on a test or projects, hope for good check-ups, there is always something to hope for.

We have so many social media outlets to share information on, whether it’s good or bad people are more likely to post something that people can read before they are to share it personally with someone. I have over 800 friends on Facebook and I can admit that I would much rather them read my blog posts without me seeing their reactions or hearing their opinions if I were to verbally tell them what my posts say face to face. I see a lot of negative, I know I’m guilty of it as well. I hear of a lot of groups for people facing the same challenges and I want there to be hope within them. Having outlets where we can share out challenges and struggles is an awesome sense of community that everyone should have in their lives. We have groups within our church, our schools, our work group, our friends and family and we have the ability to build each other up, pray for one another and hope with each other.

Sometimes I wonder if I hope too much. Huck always tells me to slow down and keep my goals and ambitions but don’t worry too much. I tell him the same, but I also tell him to hope more and not let the negative cancel out the hope. I have small hopes and big hopes. I hope for a great senior year, good health for my family and friends, the continuation of a happy relationship, and I’m sure there’s more everyday but my big hopes consume more of my thoughts. I hope for more Childhood Cancer Research funds. I hope for a cure for cancer. I hope for a better United States. I hope for terrorism to become a thing of the past. I hope for better education in countries that don’t have the resources. I hope for more hope.

I hope this post gives people more motivation and hope. Realize that the terrible things that are happening in our world are REAL but that doesn’t mean we give up hope. Learn, research and do everything you can to spread the word and increase the hope for these different things. My philosophy book says “hope a little less, love a little more” (Luc Ferry), I want to change that sentence to, “hope a little more, love a lot more.”

If you would like to read these stories or donate to the cause visit Kristin Seward // Lens of Hope and Connor’s Hero’s Foundation on Facebook where you can also donate if you feel so inclined.

Senior Year

Tomorrow will be the first day of my senior year. My senior year. I can’t get over how fast the last 3 years went. I also can’t believe how much I’ve learned and how much has changed in those 3 years. This year is starting off with new hair, a new apartment, a new roommate and a whole list of new classes. To my surprise, that’s not all that is new this year, I also got offered a job! There will be more about that later.

Coming into this year, just last week I wasn’t sure what to expect for this year. I, of course, was hoping for a good outcome and have been trying to be positive about all the new change. I’ve never really been someone who likes school. Occasionally I’ll begin a class that I end up really liking, whether it’s the information or the teacher. I have been fortunate enough to usually have a least one of these classes each semester. I can also say that the last year in college, was definitely not one of the best years of my life like everyone says college will be. College has been difficult, it’s been constant change and it’s had its hardships. Everyone has their own way of getting through each hard week or difficult class, my way is to try to always have something planned to look forward to. For me this is usually a race, wedding, my dad’s band playing, someone’s birthday, seeing a friend or just relaxing with my boyfriend or now, my roommate Rachel.

One of my favorite things to look forward to is helping Kat with weddings on the weekends. I started helping her a little over a year ago and always look forward to when she’s going to ask me to assist her again. Kat has grown to not just be someone I help when I can but also a mentor and role model. Within just a few years she’s become such a successful wedding planner and founder of creative at heart. I am so inspired by her and her compassion and work ethic every time I’m around her. This September I am helping her two weekends in a row and I thought I couldn’t be more excited. It turns out, I definitely can be! Yesterday when I was finishing setting up my room in my apartment, Kat called me to offer me a job with her that will start with the first wedding. I had high hopes for this year, but I never thought this would be the outcome. I could not be more thrilled to work with one of my role models as much as I can while still in school. I feel so blessed to have been introduced to her by the lovely Katelyn Alsop just two years ago.

            When I called to tell my mom, she reminded me of my freshman year when I was emailing every Richmond wedding planner I could find on the internet to help me or give me advice and how I had absolutely no luck. Now, 3 years later I get the privilege to work with such an incredible woman and learn so much from her. I can’t wait to start the journey of my senior year with so much to look forward to. Cheers to senior year!  

Twenty One

This has been a long time coming because I am way busier than I thought I would be this summer. I wanted to post about this day, not only because it was birthday celebration but also because it was a day to get away from reality for a little bit.

            For my 21^st birthday, I wanted to do something somewhat low-key, because if you know anything about me at all, you know I like to lay low…most of the time. This day wasn’t just a day to celebrate with some of my closest friends but also a day to get away from all of the hate and sadness in the world. This summer has been a summer of horrible tragedy every week. As soon as we think it’s over and we try to live our lives as normal as possible, something else happens. There is no way to get away from it all, and as much as we want to, we shouldn’t. We all should be coming together as one country and one world to show peace and love to everyone.

            Although 5 girls coming together, for a day drinking wine and laughing all day isn’t going to make a difference in the world, it can give us hope for the future. Whether we are dealing with our own personal battles, feeling sympathy and empathy for those effected by the tragic events in the U.S or other countries, whether they are terror attacks, attacks on our police force, attacks on people who choose to lead a different lifestyle than we do or even the unfortunate events that aren’t planned, like a young boy being attacked by an alligator.

            The four girls that spent the day with me couldn’t have stopped any of this from happening, we can’t punish any of the bad and sick people in the world, but we can continue to show love, compassion, dedication, and hope. Some of these girls I’ve known since I was a baby, some I just met in high school and one I’ve only known for 2 years. I look forward to knowing these girls for much longer and seeing all that they do from today on.

            I didn’t have everyone I would have wanted with me that day, but the ones missing also share the same traits. In a world full of hate and sick people, keep the ones who are loving and compassionate close. The more we encourage acceptance, forgiveness, encouragement and togetherness, the better the world will be.

            I loved spending the day with these girls. I choose to spend as much time as I can with them despite our busy schedules and hectic lives because they give me hope. We are the future of the world and I believe we can do something to help. I don’t care how naïve I may sound to some people but without hope we have nothing.

                                  

                                                       Stop number one!! 

                 

                           

                                                    I have some pretty friends 

 

                                                            We had a beautiful day

                                                                

                                                             Such a beautiful place 

 

                           

                      We wouldn't be a group of girls if we weren't dysfunctional sometimes 

   

Thank you are all for spending a perfect day with and for showing what true friendship really means, whether it’s for 21 years or 2. I love you ladies with all my heart.

To see more pictures check my Facebook page. 

Thank you, Kat for perfect list of places to visit!! 

Lauren and Josh are Married!! Crest Center and Pavillion

So many pretty pinks and lovely flowers!! My Memorial Day weekend was spent in the beautiful Asheville, North Carolina with the extremely talented Kat Schmoyer! This weekend’s wedding was an enchanting, forest fairytale…literally. Lauren and Josh’s special day was one for the books. I am so blessed to have been able to assist Kat this weekend. The venue was nothing I had ever seen before. Although the reception was technically indoors, the walls were practically made of windows and glass sliding doors making it feel more of an outdoor venue. The twinkle lights, peonies, roses, vines, trees and all things pink made this wedding one of a kind!

Kat, the owner of Dear Sweetheart Events brought me on to assist her for the weekend to use my creativity, imagination and trial and error to help her! The tables were topped with a mixture of lanterns, assorted vases with beautiful flowers, succulents and just a bit of light from the tea lights! The head table had a runner of real live moss…yes, it was real and oh so pretty! Succulents and peonies were lined down the table and the center had the brides fluffy, pink, peony-filled bouquet!     

                         

If you’re not already gushing at all the pretty details just wait till you see the suspended centerpiece. Yes, suspended like from the rafters! The bride provided two old, wood ladders that were painted white and as a team with a lot of collaboration and hard, creative thinking Kat and I successfully hung the ladders from the ceiling (using a giant ladder, Go Kat!). To add the final touches I tied a variety of flowers and vines making it just like an enchanted forest. 

As for the rest of the wedding, there was cake. Lots of cake, 7 cakes. I love cake!!! Not only did they have 7 different cakes but they were all so cute (and the two slices I had were delicious)!! Their food was amazing as well, thanks to the lovely bride for giving us a table at the reception (isn’t she just the sweetest)?!I would have to say this wedding was by far my most favorite! It reminded me of a garden from a fairytale movie that would only be in your dreams, but yet Kat made it all come true!

                           

I’ve helped Kat 3 times now, every time has been amazing, of course, things don’t always run smoothly but that’s the reality of planning a huge event. This time, I also had the honor to work with Hope Taylor who is so very talented as well!! She’s a young photographer but her age doesn’t halt her abilities!! Hope also had a second shooter with her, Erika Lynn who blew me away as well with her work and abilities!! I was (and still am) impressed with how awesome she and Erika both are!! I can’t wait to work with Hope again, I may add I’m a little jealous J Hopefully I’ll have a chance to work beside Erika in the future as well! Having the opportunity to work with not one, but three extremely creative, beautiful inside (and out), talented and sweet women is more than I could have ever asked for!!

These experiences are so much fun and always leave me wanting more! I wouldn’t change a thing, except for maybe cooler days with less rain, but we can’t have everything we want J Always try to obtain your goals, never give up and always be open to meeting new people, whether they are 19, 27, 36 or 60. I have loved learning from everyone I have met in the industry and it is possible to start young!

Go check out all three lovely small business owner's blogs!! They're all awesome, I promise!!

One Year Down

It’s been one year. One year since I muddled up the courage to post my first blog post publicly for anyone to read. One year since I was knocked off my feet, discouraged to ever write or post again, kicked down the first day of finals week, and one year since I questioned everything. It’s also been one year since I passed all my finals with flying colors despite being discouraged, one year since I took a stand and decided I was going to keep writing and posting for anyone to read and one year since I decided I was going to be me. I decided that I wouldn’t let other people tell me how my life would turn out, who I would keep in my life, what classes I would take to ensure that my future education would help my dreams become a reality, and choose to have the courage to put myself out there to meet people and become inspired by those who have succeeded and are doing what I hope to do in the future.

A year ago almost to the exact date, I began to contemplate everything. My friends, boyfriend, career choice, major and even what I had done in the past. I decided to keep on doing what I had planned and I believe it’s because that is the plan God had for me. I had every reason to change everything, give up, and lose the courage I had. Over the course of the past year, I have stood my ground and accomplished more than I have could have imagined during my final week of sophomore year.

This past year, I work with Kat Schmoyer, boss lady of Dear Sweetheart Events, not once, but twice. Both experiences were amazing and I can’t wait for the next two; she is seriously an incredible planner and fabulous boss lady and creative! I finished my sophomore year, declared and completed a minor in Marketing, made Dean’s list, acquired an internship for the summer of 2016, celebrated another year with my best friend, made new friends and signed a lease for the fall to start a new chapter of my life. I continued to write as consistently as I could (almost once a month) and learn from others through the process. This year has been full of accomplishments but also so many obstacles and really hard day…. I mean really hard. My junior year in high school was my hardest year in school before I came to college. No one warned me that junior year in college was going to be ten times harder.

I don’t think I had it worse than anyone else. Everyone goes through his or her own struggles, in college or not. Sometimes I felt like giving up. So many times I thought about just not coming back, quitting and doing my own things or just breaking down and crying in my room happened a little too often. Even though the last 8 months have been hard, there have also been so many rewards. Sometimes those rewards wouldn’t come until days, weeks or even months later but when they did it was just enough encouragement to get me till the next one came. Not only were the rewards worth it, but also the people I have had in my life along the way made the worst days better.

My mom mentioned this past weekend that my friends from high school and I are unique. She meant that the relationship and friendships that we have all maintained through high school and into our 3^rd year of college are unique. I don’t know what I would do without my high school friends; they have been my day 1s since first grade, and one even before that (shout out to Bennett, best friend since birth). If you have a great group of friends who supports you, always answers your phone calls/texts/snapchats as soon as they can and will literally do anything for you, do not let them go. This doesn’t mean you can’t make new friends, but always love and cherish the ones who have been there from the start. Ladies (and gentlemen) if you have a significant other who loves you through every bump in the road, moody day, and drama keep them. If they support you, want to hear about every day, good or bad and help you through it all, let them know how much you appreciate it and don’t let them go. Your family is family but they are so much more than that. Your parents listen to your rants, wipe your tears, give you the best advice you could have and answer all your questions, don’t forget to thank them.

There will be hard days, hard weeks, hard months and hard years but I can guarantee there will be rewards and it will all be worth it. A few things I have learned over this past year:

1.                   Don’t let other people discourage you from what you want to do in life and how you choose to live your life, that’s why it’s YOURS.

2.                   Forgive the ones who hurt you along the way, it may be hard but it’s necessary in order to live happily.

3.                   Strive for your goals and make your dreams become a reality to matter how hard it seems.

4.                   Always thank the ones who are there for you along the way and remember they need you to be there too.

Let’s see what this next year has in store. Let’s stick together and never let anything get us too down that we give up. Cheers to another year! Now let’s kick final’s butt!!

         
 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Who am I?

Who am I? It’s a question that we ask ourselves all the time. We think we know in middle school until we get to high school and everything changes. We go through the four years of high school and make important decisions like if we are going to college or not, where we are going to college if that’s the path we decide, what will be our major, maybe pick up a minor, where to live and so on. We graduate with these decisions in mind and goals set and then we enter the next stage of our lives. I chose the college path; I know people and am very close with a few who didn’t choose college, at least not for right now. I don’t know first hand who they are becoming and how they see themselves but I do know that they are constantly changing as well. Some have decided to start college a year from now, some have decided to continue working a job they’ve been loyal to and continue to learn about themselves and some have decided to serve our country. That’s all I know in that aspect so this post is about finding who you are in college.
    I started college three years ago, which is really weird to think about and I had to double check that yes, I will be finishing my junior year in just a few short weeks. When I started school my dad said his famous words of “you know who you are and don’t forget it” and probably some other really motivating and kind words but lets be honest, who wasn’t a mess when their parents left them after unpacking their tiny college dorm? When I started school I had a boyfriend (Huck) from high school, I’m still with him, as I’m sure most people who keep up with my posts already know. I started school leaving all of my friends, family, boyfriend, cats, and basically life, as I know it thinking I knew exactly whom I was. I knew I was going to change, grow up, learn new things and hopefully be a better person but other than that I didn’t really know what to expect.
    After three years I can tell you I’m still not sure who I am. I know what I want to do, I’ve stuck with my major, hesitantly stuck with my minor (thanks to the support from family and literal help from Huck), still a strong Christian, have the same best friends since elementary school plus a few more, and have still kept a good head on my shoulders…at least I think so. Other than that, though, I’m not sure. My parents tell me they are proud of who I am and what I’m doing and I know that. I appreciate it more than they know but I think there’s still more to me than just what I display. I think everyone eventually sees that along the way in college in particular but also just in this time of life.
    I say in college in particular because in college we are pretty much forced to live with at least one other person for the next four years. I know there are options to be in a single dorm and a one-bed room apartment but most people don’t know if they really have the confidence or assurance to do that. We learn more about ourselves by the company we keep, whether it’s good or bad. My freshman year, living in my dorm room with a girl I knew from high school, I learned that I really like my own space, like I need my own space. We didn’t have any major issues, I feel like we were a pretty normal set of roommates but I knew within a month or so that I could never share a room with someone ever again. My sophomore year I moved into an apartment with three other girls. I really started to learn more about myself this year because now Huck was at school with me, my high school friends were going through similar stuff as me, I learned that I can lose my patience really quickly, I need my own time and apparently I need more space than I thought. I learned that I can’t live with more than one maybe two people that aren’t blood or I have only known for less than two years, no matter who they are. I think this is because not only am I finding myself and learning about myself but so is everyone else around me, including the other three girls I live with. There is nothing wrong with that, you’re not going to get along with everyone you meet perfectly, you’re not going to always want to see the same people every day, you definitely won’t want to spend every waking hour with them and if you do, well good for you but I think maybe you should focus on yourself some.
    Next year I will be moving into a new apartment with a new roommate and live in a two-bedroom apartment. I am really looking forward to the new experience. I’ve lived in the same place for 2 years with the same roommates with the exception of one swap. I know I’m still going to learn more about my new roommate and myself; I’m looking forward to both. This summer I will learn more about myself as I will be nannying and working an internship. I don’t expect any big changes in who I am nor do I want it. I like who I am, what I know right now. The people I have in my life that have been with my along the way have helped to shape who I am. Professors, friends, roommates, parents, mentors, enemies, Huck, group project members, next door neighbors, the parents of the children I babysit for, they have all influenced who I am. I haven’t let these people dictate my life or change it but they have all had an impact.
    If two years ago someone told me that I was going to be writing a blog and sharing for actual people to read I would have laughed in their face. If I were having a bad night where I wasn’t sure of anything and Huck told me to go write to get my mind off it two years ago I would have asked him if he really knew me. If my mom told me to clean anything at all in the house two years ago to relieve stress I would have told her she was insane. If someone told me I would be going to the gym 2-3 times a week just because I would have thought they have the wrong Hannah Bailey. Just those three things have changed and made me who I am today and they’re huge. I will change more, grow more, mature, and learn new things but I know the things that I want to keep. I love the relationship I’m in, the friends I have, the support and love from my family I have, the mentors I have including the ones who don’t even know the influence they have on me (that would be you, Kristin and Jake ☺) and the hobbies I’ve picked up and I don’t want those to change one bit.
    So for the people getting ready to start their journey after high school, the ones who have already started and still aren’t sure if they chose the right path, and the ones who are exactly where I am, I can’t really give you advise or tell you I’ve been there, done that, do what I do. All I can really tell you are, the traits, characteristics, and interests and loves that you have, don’t let them go. Don’t be afraid to start new things, meet new people, change up something in your life, and let yourself learn and grow.

If It's Hard, It's Worth It.

Nothing in life that’s worth it is easy. Now this may not always be true but in most cases it tends to be. The normal things like school, work, and just life in general are just not easy, unless you’re a genius. This past weekend I went home for Valentine’s Day. Huck and I had plans, nothing special just pizza and a movie at one of our houses but I was really looking forward to it. As we all know, Virginia weather doesn’t know what it’s doing…ever. It’s 50 degrees one day and blizzards that night with little to no warning. So, unfortunately we had to leave Richmond a day early and go back to school. It wasn’t easy (I’m not a fan of unexpected change) but once we got here our plans still kind of happened and it was worth it.

While I was home for the weekend I went to visit my grandmother with my mom. The last few months have been full of change with her, as she’s been moved around to different facilities within her nursing home to better accommodate her needs. Over the last few years I’ve seen my granny age, for a while I thought she never would. I had the thought that she was 74 for like 10 years up until recently. My mom and her siblings take care of what needs to be done or whatever my granny needs. I visit with her when I can, which is not as often as it should be. She is losing her memory with age, unable to walk as well and other things that make things just different enough to be hard. My mom has asked me the last few times we’ve left her room, “it isn’t easy is it?” Every time I just say, “No, it isn’t.” is it worth it to go see her? Absolutely. Is it hard? Absolutely.

School is just a whole different story. As soon as I think my classes are getting easy something happens. When I think I’m finally done being home sick, something happens and I want to go home. It’s never easy and when it is that just means something is going to happen to make it hard. It kind of goes hand in hand with “nothing in life is free.” People will argue that there are in fact free things but most likely you’ve had to do something in order to obtain the free thing.

Things are hard right now. Being a 20 year old girl, in college, 3 hours away from home and some friends, 25 minutes away from 2 extremely busy friends, living with 3 girls and really not knowing how your dream job is actually going to happen is HARD. For anyone who says this time in life is easy, stop lying to yourself. Not just for you but for everyone else around you. We need each other to get through the hard times and you aren’t fooling anyone acting like everything is so ~easy~. Most of us at this point in time are going to school, possibly also working, doing an internship or looking for one, applying for grad school, masters, jobs, programs, etc., family changes, becoming an actual adult and many other various things that we just associate with life. Right now most of this stuff seems pointless, you want to cry, scream, give up or blame other people for these day to day hard things.

My boyfriend is a realist. I didn’t believe him for a while, I thought he was truly just negative about a lot but when I actually thought about the things going on around me, I realized he was right. I’m happier now. Knowing that not everything is easy, things get hard, life throws snow at you (I really hate snow now), and meltdowns will happen. Get up, don’t look it as failures, get through the hard shit (excuse my language) and look back the next day, week, month, or year from now and be able to say “it was worth it.”

“People can do more than they ever believe they can do. Physically, mentally, academically. You have to be pushed. It hurts. But it’s worth it, and it’s a great thing.” Sugar Ray Leonard

"Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies."

-- Bobby Jones